i don't have time to blog but it's in the best interest of my mental health. mr sidney has decided as of late that he will wake shortly after going to bed and turn bedtime into a 2-3 hour affair. no fault of his - he wakes up gassy, has trouble settling back down. i will not let him cry it out. for many reasons but one most relevant at this moment is that crying will make him more gassy so in the end i'd just be screwing myself. i have no issues with him being up, i love the snuggles and like all mothers, it's nice to know i'm needed. but then when he drifts off to dreamland and i sit down at my desk to attempt to accomplish something i'm so tired and exhausted and then comes the mommy meltdown. i think i have one every 3-4 days. i rant to poor david, "when the hell am i ever going to get anything done!!! he's so busy during the day and then he's up all evening and wants only me!" to which david does not respond. which cranks mommy meltdown up a notch. he can't run my business for me, he can't do my accounting for me, he can't seem to do what i ask him to do, and he can't help with sidney because well, that results in crying and as i said already, crying = more gas. but jesus, can't he be supportive! can't he even pretend to be supportive! i told him to quit holding up the wall and go back to his computer. well, that's just what he did. *&^#$!!
just to clarify, i'm not ranting about parenthood - i wouldn't change a thing! - or marriage - although i would change a few things. i'm ranting about business ownership while parenting an infant. it's insane. there are many things i think would make it easier ... if my business wasn't so demanding; if my parents lived in town; if i made time for myself so that i felt less stressed. i can plow my way through but goshdarnit that's not how i want it!!
rant over. accounting commencing.
