i can go on about how lovely motherhood is and how amazing my baby is but that likely gets a bit boring for the readers. but do you really want to know other things that are happening in my life and going through my head. for example, my period decided to make an appearance and it really messed with my head. i suppose it was the association of blood. flashbacks and trauma. it was quite a stressful ordeal all around. i felt faint and panicked. perhaps all the feelings i never got to take ownership of amongst the chaos and rush. i get why therapists etc push people so hard to recognize their feelings and talk about things ... it probably wouldn't continue to come back to me like it does had i actually spent some time coming to terms with it all. but, i was busy. sidney was all that mattered.
so yeah ... that's why i don't share what's in my head. haha
sidney is 4 months old now! wow hey?! he's just as fabulous as always. currently deciding he hates his car seat which is awesome but i'm guessing it was the trip to nanaimo and victoria ... so i'm hoping he gets over it soon. he was better today already. oh and he had food for the first time today. he loved it. he was attacking the spoon.
david and i have almost been married a year. i'm not planning to split or anything, but i wonder how things would be if i knew then what i know now. david has a handful of things that drive me insane. some i recognized, others i didn't. i for sure know that no matter what, i would find fault and let myself be driven insane regardless of who, what, where, when and why. david reads this on occassion and i don't know who else so just for the record, i will reiterate, i am not questioning anything ... just analyzing because i do that well. and well, you have to be good at something. interesting when you think about things that drive you insane and try to figure out if it's a common annoyance for the majority of people or if it's you and just a personality/lifestyle clash.
having a lovely visit with my family :) they are the best! sidney so loves them.
